Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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