with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
