Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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