Im at strip club and am horny
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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