What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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