Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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