he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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