They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
