Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
