I think I won the penis lottery.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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