I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
