my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
