Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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