Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Randomize
