Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
