I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
