Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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