i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
