If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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