No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
