i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
