He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
