dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex