Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.