I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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