it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
