The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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