Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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