I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
