Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
