because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
