I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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