I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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