At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
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There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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