In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
