oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
