I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
