I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I have aggressive nipples.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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