thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
