Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
