the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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