Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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