I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Why did my mother make you get naked?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
