he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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