She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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