Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
