I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
