To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
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He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
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I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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