dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
