Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
