I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
