But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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