Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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