i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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