i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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