Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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