a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
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