she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
