There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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